Dear NBC:

OMG, STFU!!

If I have to watch one more second of beach volleyball, so help me I will walk to China and punch out Karch Kiraly myself. Look at all these goddamn sports and tell me how many you will actually see on television (in Amurika):

• Archery
• Badminton
• Baseball
• Basketball
• Beach Volleyball
• Boxing
• Canoe/Kayak
• Cycling
• Diving
• Equestrian
• Fencing
• Field Hockey
• Gymnastics
• Handball
• Judo
• Modern Pent.
• Rhythmic Gym.
• Rowing
• Sailing
• Shooting
• Soccer
• Softball
• Swimming
• Sync. Swimming
• Table Tennis
• Taekwondo
• Tennis
• Track & Field
• Trampoline
• Triathlon
• Volleyball
• Water Polo
• Weightlifting
• Wrestling

NBC is making this international spectacle of sportsmanship totally unwatchable. If I wanted to see overpaid prima donnas, I'd watch the NBA the rest of the year. If I wanted to have American exceptionalism shoved up my ass, I'd watch a John McCain ad. If I see five minutes of archery, handball or trampoline competition (trampoline? WTF?!) I will eat my hat. And post a video of it. I can't wait to see how awful the track and field and triathlon coverage is going to be.

Oh, I did an easy run yesterday. I'm not sore today. Anyone ever hear of ETPS?